This post is going to be be more casual than the previous ones. Please take note that this is more personal oriented rather than proven physiological research, but I think most parents would find it useful nonetheless. "Mirroring" to put simply is when someone (i guess in this case it would be the children) follow from example and experience. Similar to how they follow their favourite idols or trends set by the populace, the very first thing a child will mirror is their parents. Now I'm pretty sure you realise where this is heading by now, and you'd probably be right. If you want your child to behave properly, then parents also need to behave accordingly.
From fashion choices to personality, a child can convey a lot about how their parents. It comes without saying that all of what their parents do the child can and might follow, whether it is conscious or subconscious.
One of my more nitpick examples is in the case of gadgets. Some parents have the habit of using their gadgets excessively. Now I'm not just talking about being obsessed with WhatsApp or your phone all the time, this can happen subconsciously as well. Perhaps when your driving you sometimes sneak peaks into your phone (or even worse, use it while driving. Which You Shouldn't Be Doing!) or even use your phone while your walking.
Some parents explain how it is an "important thing" they need to do and thats alright. Sometimes its okay, but its even better if you as an adult can learn to control your own subconscious actions. If you keep on doing this then your child too will subconsciously reach for their phones and gadgets during their free time.
You might say that "Its okay, I'm used to it" or "It is urgent," where in actuality you are indirectly saying to your child that "It is Okay if you get used to it subconsciously." Not only does this bad habit slowly start to appear on your child, they will start seeking out more gadget time outside of the appropriate gadget time you may have set up in your family.
The solution to this is simple. It is as much changing yourself as it is changing your child. Unless it is truly urgent, actively try to spend more time enjoying or connecting with your children. You may think "Im not That obsessed with gadgets, I still socialise and connect with my children," thing is, your child mirrors all of the activities you do, even in your down time.
Realise it or not, children are one of the most observant humans on the planet that can sometimes be seeing planes fly and then instantly see You using your phones. If you actively show that side of you to the children, (it is a high possibility that) they might also actively seek out that gadget time. They might eat food, talk when they have to, but then instead of trying to continue socialising they might instantly want to play their gadgets. Instead of enjoying a walk, trip, or jog together they might instead look for earphones or stare at their phones.
So make an effort to show the "Good Side" of yourselves to teach the "Right Way" of growing up to your children.
Note: This is based on personal experience, more on this in the next post
Comments